How a "Psychic" Approaches a Cold Case
Maura Murray's Disappearance
More Than Missing
This past weekend, I was traveling from Rhode Island, where I visited family, to my home in Vermont. On my trip north, I stopped at a rest area and opened my podcast app. It recommended a new show for me: Media Pressure, The Untold Story of Maura Murray.
Coincidentally, as I got back on the road and began listening to it, I traveled through the towns mentioned in the podcast, through Massachusetts, then New Hampshire, and Vermont. At one point, they were discussing Haverhill, New Hampshire, at the moment I saw the exit for it. I was traveling in the general direction that she did. She was almost the same age as I was (her a 1982 baby, me 1983). We would have been attending college as juniors at the same time (her in Massachusetts, me in Vermont). Like me, she was an overachiever (though her talents and skills far exceeded mine), and she had a fierce love for her family. Aside from being super athletic and a West Point whiz-kid, she could have been me.
I hesitate to say this, but my initial thought on seeing the podcast advertisement was, “Oh, isn’t that the case where the girl wandered off into the woods and died?”
But that just goes to illustrate how that narrative was so commonly told over the years that it’s the one that stuck in my head, enough so that I shrugged it off as just an odd case, but an easily explainable one. I hope and pray that the podcast changes so many more minds about this case.
After binge-listening to the entire podcast in the past few days, I can’t stress this enough: it is much more probable that Maura accepted help from someone on the night of her disappearance and was later murdered.
This post is my very brief take-away from the podcast (and I’ll pull Tarot cards about it at the end, too, as I like to do). For more in-depth information about the case, you have to listen to Maura’s sister’s podcast at mediapressure.com, or listen where you find your other podcasts. I highly recommend it to bring awareness to Maura’s case, to honor her memory, and to hear the family’s side of the story. They are incredibly intelligent, grounded, diligent people who are doing everything they possibly can to bring Maura home.
There’s also an interview with Maura’s sister, Julie, on YouTube via the Law & Crime channel (link here) that gives a brief overview of the case and where it currently stands.
An Overview
From the mauramurraymissing.org website:
Maura Murray disappeared on the evening of Monday, February 9, 2004, after her car crashed on Rt. 112 in Haverhill, NH. Her whereabouts remain unknown. Maura was a stand out student-athlete from Hansen, MA enrolled in the nursing program as a junior at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Her family continues to actively search for answers in an effort to find Maura. Maura’s disappearance has made international headlines, and made her story one of the most followed missing persons cases throughout the world.
Here are some pieces of her story that stood out to me. Please feel free to comment if I’ve misunderstood or misrepresented anything here.
Maura disappeared the evening of Monday, Feb. 9, at about 7:40pm.
Maura was going to college and needed a car to attend nursing rounds. Her father had given her a used car earlier in the year. It wasn’t working well, he told her not to drive it, and they were in the process of looking for a new car for her. Meanwhile, she was riding with friends as needed.
While her father was visiting her in Massachusetts to help with the car search on the weekend of Feb. 7 (Sat.), she borrowed his car after dropping him off at his motel that evening to go to a get-together at the dorms.
In the early hours of the morning, on Sun., Feb. 8, she was returning to her father’s motel and got in an accident with his car. (This was the day before the second accident that would lead to her disappearance.) In the first accident in her father’s car, she hit a guardrail and crashed. Law enforcement arrived at the scene, and there was an accident report, but no sobriety test was conducted to tell if she had been drinking.
According to her family, Maura felt awful about this, because it would cost her father money; I believe it was $500 after insurance. However, her father was understanding about it and helped her obtain accident reports, etc.
He rented a car on Sunday (Feb. 8), dropped off Maura at campus, and headed home to Hansen, MA, planning to restart the new-car search next time he visited Maura.
I believe it was late Sunday night (Feb. 8) when she began researching vacation-like places to stay in New Hampshire and Vermont.
By Monday, Feb. 9, she let people know that there was a death in her family (there wasn’t) and that she was heading out of town for a few days.
She left in the broken car that her father told her not to drive.
She took money out of an ATM, bought alcohol, and headed north. She appeared to be alone in footage from the ATM and store cameras.
Maura’s car went off the road in Haverhill, New Hampshire, and hit a tree (though what she hit has been debated) at about 7:27p on Feb. 9. It was cold, temp averaging 9F, possibly into the negative temps at night. Snow on the ground and in the woods, but no reported precipitation that day according to historic weather records that I could find.
This is my understanding of the order of events that followed in the next 20 minutes:
A nearby neighbor called 9-1-1 at 7:27p when she heard the crash and could see it from her window. She reported seeing a light in the car that she first thought was a cigarette but later believed it could have been someone on a cell phone.
A bus driver stopped to offer help, but Maura declined and supposedly asked him not to call the police. He drove to his home a few minutes away.
A witness driving by said she saw a police SUV parked nose-to-nose with Maura’s car at the crash site and that Maura’s car door was open. The witness noted it was about 7:37p and that she stopped but didn’t see anyone so proceeded on her drive home.
Another witness drove by close to the same time and noted Maura’s car door (or doors) were open.
The bus driver who didn’t help Maura initially arrived at home and called 9-1-1 at 7:43p.
Police arrived on scene at 7:46p. According to their report, the car was locked, some of the alcohol was believed to be missing, and Maura was gone with her keys, debit/credit cards, backpack, and phone. None of these items have ever been found.
What the Fuck Happened?
Excuse my language, but I’m so angry for Maura’s family. How did one person go missing in 10 minutes while all eyes were on this crash site, and this was a well-traveled road? Within minutes of the accident happening, we had two neighbors report the accident, two drive-by female witnesses, and (supposedly) two separate responses from law enforcement.
This fact alone makes me suspect foul play and an abduction. There was no disturbance in the side-of-the-road snow within miles of the crash site. Her father and volunteers thoroughly searched the area the following day and multiple days after the accident. Footsteps would have been clear, since there was snow on the ground and no new precipitation. The freezing temperatures would have kept the snow fresh and crisp.
Someone should have seen her walking.
(There is a report of a witness potentially seeing her walking 5 miles from the crash site. This account seems questionable to me, because the police and/or other witnesses likely would have seen her. It makes me wonder if this witness had his days mixed up and it was someone else. He also didn’t notice the accident scene when passing it, and it would have been obvious with all the flashing lights, police cars, etc. Again, this just makes me think he had his days mixed up and that it wasn’t Maura.)
But I do find the two female witnesses believable who drove by, because they both noted the same thing at a time when law enforcement wasn’t reported to be at the scene. They both saw 1) Maura’s car with one or more doors open and 2) not a crazy, lights-flashing accident scene with police, and/or EMS and fire truck there, which would have been the scene only minutes later.
Those witnesses HAD to be driving by between 7:30p and 7:46p, likely closer to 7:30p, or they would have seen more police plus the EMS and the fire truck on their way to the scene. Unless Maura was hiding, she would have been walking on that road at 7:30-7:40p, and I believe one of those witnesses would have had to have seen her. Supposedly, the bus driver and a responding officer later drove around looking for Maura with no luck.
If the one female witness who saw the police car is accurate in her memory of what she saw, then we can narrow Maura’s disappearance down to roughly a 10 minute window and two possible scenarios: 1) Maura fled the scene, hid somewhere nearby, and quickly accepted help from someone who abducted her in a vehicle. When the first officer arrived, he found the empty car and went driving around to look for the then-unknown driver, or 2) The first officer arrived on scene and found Maura but offered to remove her from the situation to avoid her getting in trouble, OR he suspected she was drinking, and she resisted him taking her into custody (would that explain the foot or hand smudge on the inside divider of the car window?). He could then be the person responsible for her disappearance.
To me, the short window of time points to someone driving her away, but then who would she trust, or who would have power over her? If she was walking, she would have gotten cold quickly in those temps and may have been more likely to accept help from anyone at that point.
But, I also leaned toward the theory of an officer being responsible, because she was hesitant to accept help from the bus driver who was a stranger to her but may have been more trusting of police. I also questioned whether she went with the bus driver himself, but it seems unlikely with the timeline, him calling police, him helping search, and his wife’s account of what happened.
The Suicide Theory
Though none of the crash-site evidence points to suicide, in my opinion, I can see why officers might have suspected that she just ran away. I’m sure she was distraught about crashing her father’s car over the weekend, being in a second accident, plus the potential of getting a DUI, and how that might affect her school and career. There’s no doubt in my mind that she was scared and probably wanted to hide from the police, but I can’t imagine she’d be scared enough to completely disappear. She had an older sister who was struggling with alcoholism, and it seems that the family supported her and helped her through her recovery.
To me, it’s that family piece. I always come back to that. She always had resources and support in that family unit. I can’t imagine her walking away from them indefinitely for any reason.
The crack on the windshield and the red liquid in the car reminded me of how college girls in 2004 would carry around go-cups all the time. They may have contained alcohol or juice or flavored water. I wondered if that’s what hit the windshield from inside the car.
If she left the car and brought that cup with her and some of the alcohol, plus some of her belongings, suicide seems extra unlikely. I don’t doubt that she was reeling from everything going on in her life and maybe even considering quitting school, but all signs point to a woman who was temporarily escaping the stresses of life and trying to do some soul searching and a life ‘reset.’ The alcohol she bought is very “feminine” in nature. Every time we had a get-together in the dorms, it was with cheap wine, Baileys and Kahlua. Sweet drinks, for fun, to relax and escape the stresses of school.
Maura searched for locations that were out of state, known vacation spots, but not too far from home. She may have decided to skip Stowe and Burlington, because it was crazy busy due to ski season or just head in that general direction and pick a hotel or B&B along the way. For a woman who had a very structured school schedule, it may have been freeing to just run away for a weekend and be spontaneous. Everything she did pointed to a college kid’s escape and adventure trip. She even brought textbooks which suggests she planned to do schoolwork while away.
And, while some might look at her disappearance in hindsight and see the seriousness of the situation she was in (in trouble at school, potential DUI), I’d also encourage those same people to think about some of the things they did at Maura’s age. Many of my classmates were drunk throughout their college years, in fender benders, in trouble a few times with the local police or campus security. Maura’s actions were concerning, yes, but also very normal for a college kid who’s trying to find herself and push boundaries.
It’s harsh to say but, if Maura was planning a suicide, I believe it would have been planned much more thoroughly than this trip was.
Ok, So Let’s Talk Cold-Case Psychics
Now that I’ve shared my initial thoughts and ideas about her disappearance, I want to talk about psychics and cold cases. I don’t consider myself a “psychic,” because that word carries a lot of weirdness and a supernatural tone that I don’t connect with.
I mean, I’ll be the first person to acknowledge that ‘otherworldly’ things can happen and might be “real,” but I’m not forging ahead into any case or Tarot reading claiming that my intuitive reasoning comes from a “spiritual realm” or some other kind of extra-sensory perception.
Truthfully, I would like to believe that spirits can send us signs and interact with us, and I’m open to that possibility and even write about it, but I would never force that idea onto someone else and am even much more likely to believe that intuition is simply a mix of logic, empathy, past personal experiences, and shared human experiences.
So, when I approach a cold case, it’s from an intuitive place. I’m sometimes wrong about what I’m thinking or seeing, and I’ll be the first to admit that. I try to create a safe space, where ideas can flow freely between me and the family member, and it becomes more of a Q&A/brainstorm session. There has to be this safe space where we both trust each other and know that what we’re working at isn’t a perfect answer or an absolute key to the puzzle.
Sometimes, when I’m open in this brainstorming session, I will see (or imagine) people and locations and numbers. I believe this information comes from cues that we’re picking up on subconsciously. Think of it like tribal thinking or tapping into a greater human experience.
Sometimes these images are accurate. Sometimes they’re not, or we just never connect them to the case. The purpose of these sessions isn’t to say, “Here’s a description of the offender;” the purpose is to get family and/or law enforcement thinking outside the box and beyond the evidence in front of them. We can then start exploring pieces that we may not have previously considered.
Note that everything I said above includes the words “sometimes” and “maybe” and “believe.” Therefore, I firmly believe that anyone who charges money for this time or information is (likely) a scammer. Some intuitives argue that their time alone is valuable. I agree, but it’s not the type of value that carries a price, in my opinion.
There are too many variables, too many unknowns, and I personally feel that those safe-space, brainstorming sessions that involve the trust of you and a family member can become clouded when money is exchanged but can evolve more fluidly when our minds are open and empathy is exchanged.
An Intuitive Look at Maura’s Case
When I look at a case intuitively, I like to be open, let the images or sounds pop into my head and express them freely, even if they seem strange. I will then pull Tarot and oracle cards and see if something in the imagery sparks my intuition.
Here is a list of images from my free-association think session that I typed with eyes closed. I’ve bolded the items that came up in the Tarot reading later:
I feel the backpack on my shoulders.
I’m not carrying anything in my hands.
I want to hide.
I smell hippie smells, like patchouli.
I see a tapestry that’s brown .
There’s ketchup in the vehicle.
I see a dark pickup truck
I hear tires on the salted road, approaching slowly.
There’s food, like fast food.
Floor mats are dirty in the truck.
A light colored sweater
A store shop it’s closed
I hear “time” over and over again, like someone’s asking for a time check.
8:54
7:46
Hammer or sledgehammer in the car
5 people
Hair down for warmth
Someone wearing sunglasses at night
Cross hanging from rearview mirror, wooden beads
“Time”
Fall
Shopping bag white plastic
Baseball hat
R name Reggie? Richie?
Guy with shoulder length, light-brown hair, goatee, charismatic
“Time”
An old couch in a basement or dark room
Water running
Cement floor
Wood stairs
Black dog with white muzzle
James
Dog barking
Sled
Framework
Blinded
Flashlight
Take me to him
Ribbon I see
Head down
Wooden structure like cabin home with porch porch
Dogs will go
Try them
Try
Wooden beaded necklace
Firestarter
Tamera or camera
Dust ashes
Water wash away
Cups and dinner and normal
Connections
Now I try to connect this info to nearby locations and more put-together thoughts. I do this by using Google Maps to walk the area virtually and try to understand what the images/sounds might mean in the context of that space.
Swiftwater Way Station, a nearby convenience store, may have had fast-food type options, ketchup. Were they around in 2004? The log-cabin style building looks like the one in my vision. The dogs aiding in her search indicated Maura was walking in the opposite direction, but someone coming from the store could have picked her up.
In researching, there are some James R. connections to the case including a writer James Renner. I’ve read mixed reviews about his findings and research, though.
There may have been dogs nearby. I felt that she was inside a house at one point with a dog(s).
It might be more of a camp.
I feel like there was more than one person at this location, possibly a female as well as two or more males. I get this feeling of a hovering mother energy.
I hear water running, like hearing a faucet running in another room.
There may be a fire connection; it feels like an outdoor fire in snow.
There’s a ‘hippie’ or ‘earthy’ vibe connected to this person/location.
Cards
Two oracle cards came up: Protection (reversed) and Trust. If she was taken, this may have been someone she trusted who should have protected her.
Tarot Cards
Disclaimer: this reading does explore theories about her possible death. The image of the cards is below and includes themes of death.
I asked: What happened to Maura Murray on Feb. 9, 2004?
First four cards: Judgment, Ace of Cups, 6 of Swords, 9 of Pentacles
The Judgment card is typically an awakening. In early, Christianity-themed decks, it was the card of resurrection, a cleansing, leaving behind anything negative and becoming new. It could represent a passing from this life, or it could be validation that she was trying to do a life ‘reset’ and come back refreshed and focused. While I was writing that last sentence, an authenticator notification popped up on my screen with the number “13” on it. This is typically the number of the death card in the Tarot. It doesn’t have to mean death. It can still be similar to the Judgment card in that there’s a dying of the old way of living.
Just in case this “13” symbol is Maura communicating with me, I talk to her. I thank her for reaching out, and I tell her that I hear her, that I’m doing my best to listen. (Maybe I’m crazy to do that, but I’d rather be crazy than ignore a potential reach-out from any victim.)
The Ace of Cups is usually an offer of help, but there’s an emotional connection there, a trust. (Could Maura have hidden from the police and walked until she got cell service then called someone she knew for help? Was someone helping her get away from the beginning? Who gave her the idea to escape for awhile?)
The 6 of Swords is traditionally a card of travel, but swords are about thoughts and willpower, so it can mean pursuing a shift in perspective which does seem to align with her purpose that day. Think of it like getting away to experience new things and shift your thinking. In the traditional imagery, it shows a figure aiding two people in leaving on the boat. That could mean that someone helped her leave the area.
The 9 of Pentacles is a card of financial and physical wellbeing. It tends to be feminine in nature. I see this as two different possibilities: either a woman was involved in this escape OR it represents Maura feeling safe and secure after her escape. The middle set of three cards below was an answer to the question:
Can you clarify what that 9 of Pentacles means?
Three cards: Justice, 10 of Wands, Knight of Coins/Pentacles
These cards took my breath away. That Knight of Pentacles looks exactly like the man I saw in my vision above, with shoulder-length, light brown hair, and that goatee. He’s traveling. Knights tend to represent forward movement. The Justice card is this beautiful woman who seems like she’s in authority. I see this two different ways: In the middle, Maura walking with her belongings. A man and woman convince her to accept a ride. OR Justice = Law Enforcement, and they arrive, but Maura is gone walking, and then she’s picked up by goatee guy.
Different Takes
The Tarot is simply imagery, right? So, when I’m using my intuition to read the cards, I’m trying to take in all possibilities. That Justice card is a really good example. I’ve had clients ask me questions like, “Couldn’t she be an angel arriving to take the victim to heaven?” And the answer is, “Yes, there are infinite ways to read the cards.” When it comes to intuition, we’re dealing with a lot of abstract ideas, and it’s important to consider all options.
It helps when you start to see some common themes develop in readings. Like, in all three readings below, we have a theme of travel with a person (6S, KnP, Chariot).
For that reason, I’m going to proceed under the assumption that she left with someone in a vehicle. BUT, could these cards simply mean that she “traveled” into the woods, was a victim of her circumstances and own state of mind, and was “visited” by death instead of a person? Yes. I don’t think so, but it’s possible.
Who Took Maura?
Assuming that she was taken, I asked: Who took Maura?
Three cards: 8 of Swords, the Chariot, Death
The 8 of Swords is a card of being trapped by your own thoughts or circumstances, and the visual of a woman being tied is striking. I’m drawn to the blindfold, because in my vision, I couldn’t see at one point. I felt “blinded” by light, and then I saw darkness.
The Chariot would represent forward movement. It could mean that she herself felt inspired to move forward, but in many of my readings, the Chariot represents a masculine energy who comes forward, who is usually connected to travel, who offers help. This person could be very connected to travel: think road worker, patrolman, truck driver, someone who knew the area well. I don’t think they stuck around (so this would rule out officers on scene, neighbors). It feels like they picked her up and were long gone.
I pulled cards multiple times about her death and got the Chariot multiple times. I also got the female energy multiple times. It’s like she was around but turned a blind eye to Maura’s circumstances.
Final Thoughts
The dogs seem incredibly significant throughout this reading. I think that they could still be helpful in finding her using her scent, even after all this time. There’s this almost spiritual connection she has with dogs. I think her abductor had a dog and that dogs will be key in finding her as well.
I’m also drawn to horses throughout the reading (see the KnP and recurring Chariot card). This could mean that the abductor had connections to horses or stables, a farm property. The “hippie” connection might mean that he lives that lifestyle, may grow cannabis.
I also feel like the property is near a stream, because when I see the outside fire, the back of the property dips down to what I would think is a stream, and I just barely hear water running.
I also feel so strongly like someone knows exactly what happened to her. Like, someone is just sitting with this information and not wanting to come forward. It’s frustrating.
I continue to wish for this case to be resolved and for Maura’s family to find peace.
Here is a list of the links that I posted above for quick access of more Maura information and resources:
For more in-depth information about the case, you have to listen to Julie’s (Maura’s sister’s) podcast at mediapressure.com.
Interview with Maura’s sister, Julie, on YouTube via the Law & Crime channel (link here) that gives a brief overview of the case and where it currently stands.
The mauramurraymissing.org website.
